How I Wish

Sun Magazine

Date: January 5, 1972

How I Wish

By Hasina Sajun


          When I married Sami, nearly nine years my senior, I was thrilled to see him in his smart Military uniform, each time we met in the days preceding our marriage. I did not realize that it was this very uniform that would be the cause of our first big separation within two years of our marriage.

          How I wish he was not a part of the armed forces. Why should he have to fight a silly war? Try his best to put in his very best to save that part of our country which doesn’t even want to be a part of it....

          Fight valiantly, have so many of our people killed, and all for what...? For a cease-fire, and to return all the newly won territory.

          What is the sense of being a citizen of country which is making a mess of everything? Useless civilian governments, bogus voting, bribery, corruption and no sense of values or morals. No one thinks of God and the Day of Judgment... or of the fact that we have to account for our doings during our brief respite in this good for-nothing world.

          Like empty vessels you hear loud proclamations of this and that in the name of Islam. Everyone makes a big show of following Islamic laws, yet everywhere you can see everything done in the opposite way.

          I must stop myself from such thinking, it is corrosive! I must stop myself from having all these deplorable thoughts. I feel personally aggrieved... I feel all sacrifices are in vain. Fighting against such a big country... and a bully.... and with a strong world power behind it... How Futile..... “Nasreen shake yourself... snap out of this abominable state.” 

          I should be arrested for being a traitor... If more people were to think like this, what a pernicious effect it would have I

          I must take refuge with Allah. From Satan who leads me astray.....

          I must beg for God’s forgiveness and Guidance...

          I am proud my husband fights to defend his country from the scheming of an aggressor.

There is no comparison to the strength of a Muslim soldier at Jehad.

For no one can fight valiantly who is afraid of death. Our soldiers are not afraid of death. They look forward to the elevated position of a Shaheed.

Every man and woman and child in a Muslim country prays for a chance to be in the Jehad... to receive the opportunity to prove a part of the Jehad. Each one’s personal or national sacrifice however small or big, is their badge of a Mujahid.

Every citizen sincerely wants to do his bit to help the soldiers, physically, mentally, morally, and spiritually... 

          Our Jehad is also our chance of atonement for past misdeeds. It comes as a salvation... It has brought Unity, Honesty, Sincerity, Truth, Discipline, Generosity, and a firm faith in God Almighty.

          May our newly regained UNITY, HONESTY and SUCCESS be ours forever... is and should be my prayer and thanks to God.

I must complete the knitting, and write to Sami... telling him how the whole nation stands firmly behind the Armed Forces... prepared to make any sacrifices to fight the unjust interference in our affairs and the enemy’s aggression.